Sharing my personal experiences as a Reiki Master to support others

…4 years out.

4 years ago my life changed; from good to bad to worse to okay. For those of you who have been following my blog, thank you. It has evolved from Reiki guidance to unraveling my deepest sadness while using Reiki as a tool to help me process and grieve the loss of my first born, my son, Lolo. The sadness that comes with losing a baby, the word doesn’t begin to describe it. No one knows how you feel, not even another loss parent because each journey is its own. Yes, there are similarities, but there are differences. And now I’m 4 years from the moment I laid my eyes on him. From the moment I held him, felt him move inside me, saw his warm face. But marking this calendar moment at 4 years does not mean anything. I still can recall the exact events in full detail, just like it was yesterday. The pain is not as heart-wrenching for long periods of time; it just comes and goes now. But that’s because we’ve added two more little sisters to our family; we made Lolo a big brother. And we’re learning to intertwine our lives with the loss of Lolo, because he is around spiritually, guiding us, playing with us, loving us from abound. We’re teaching our girls that although we can’t see him, he is there.

And that is what Reiki has also taught me. That even though we can’t see the energy, the love is there waiting for us when we are ready.

~Lolo’s mom


… with a reason.

I offer you Reiki not because it healed me of my grief. Oh my life is quite the contrary. My grief is still present, as with any mother or parent whose child died.

I offer it because of the hope it brought me.

And to bring to you the chance where sadness is lighter, “why” questions lessen, control releases, and a more positive relationship begins.

A clearer relationship with who you are now, who your inner self is, and quite possibly with your loved ones.


…uncovering the love.

Uncover the Love

I’m a mom with a newborn again.  With that role comes adjusting my schedule and getting used to; lukewarm dinners, shorter convos with my husband, watching movies during several day increments, and my least favorite, sipping my once-hot-coffee turned cold.

But as a Reiki Master, there’s one thing I have maintained…taking time for myself, for selfcare via self-Reiki.  There’s no question about how much I love my husband and our newest baby; but, some days I become agitated more easily than others.  And that’s when I know I need Reiki.

Today was just this.  So my husband offered to watch baby while I gave myself a Reiki session.  During that time, I focused on several areas of my body.  First, I utilized a few Reiki symbols and mantras to ground and center myself.  Then I felt energy was needed in my heart, spleen, lungs, and throat.  After 45 minutes of Reiki, I was feeling wonderful, but there still lingered some stagnant energy.  I couldn’t shake it.  So with my palms faced up, I visualized myself opening up as a channel to receive more Reiki.  Like from a beam of powerful energy, I felt paralyzed and didn’t want to move.  I wanted to remain still so that I could absorb all that was given.  Then with a sudden shift of energy, I felt cleansed and that my Reiki session was complete.  I slowly opened my eyes to take in the world around me.  I was peaceful and content.  As my eyes focused, I saw my husband with baby coming towards me.  It was perfect timing; the end of my session arrived exactly at the moment she no longer had the patience to be without me.

And for the rest of the day when she was cranky, I was more at peace. The Reiki session lifted away stress from the day and uncovered the love I knew was there.  I found my patience.  I found my compassion.  I found my love even in the midst of baby’s fussy tiredness.

Use Reiki to lift away stress and find the peace and love that exists within you.


…with a holiday wish.

Christmas miracle

Maybe I’ve been watching too many Hallmark Christmas movies.  You know the ones, someone doesn’t believe in the magic of Christmas because a multitude of reasons.  Maybe they lost their childhood innocence, maybe they had many Christmases spoiled, maybe they don’t feel like they deserve it, or maybe they think the magic Christmas provides isn’t capable of giving them what they dream.  The latter is me, thinking that the miracle of Christmas isn’t strong enough to make my dream come true…I feel it’s out of reach.

But in those movies, nothing is out of reach.  There are friends, family members, strangers, angels, guides, and spirits helping someone believe.  At the end of the movie, the miracle comes true- nothing is too large.

So what would my holiday wish be…if I made one?  I thought about it.  And usually my wishes are selfless, right down to my birthday wishes.  I use my birthday wishes, my entire day actually, offering Reiki to others.  That is my gift to me, I would give a Reiki session for free to someone on my birthday.  That is how much I love Reiki; and I receive so much from it by giving a session to others.  But a Christmas wish…the possibility of a miracle, if it were truly possible, I would have to be selfish.  And selfish is a struggle deep down to my core because I am unsure it would even work; so, I’d rather wish for something else.

But my holiday wish, my miracle would be to spend one whole day with my baby again.  No, not the one I hold in my arms on a daily basis.  (Although, I embrace her daily knowing that moment could be the last.)  No, my first one; the one that was lost to me many years ago.  The one I never get to hold, to see, to feel, to love, to grow.  That one.  My Little One, my Lolo.  I wish I could talk, I wish I could feel, I wish I could hold for matters more, over and over, my cup never runneth over.

That would be my wish for a Christmas holiday miracle.  Merry Christmas.


XOXO – dedicated to all those mothers and fathers out there this Christmas season wishing for a miracle, too.  I sure hope some sort of miracle comes to you.

…with a divine gift.

Divine GiftsThe last time I wrote, I had just completed a much needed meditation that helped me get to a ready-place before my daughter was born.  There were a number of divine actions that happened during her birth, and I feel that meditating with Reiki was the foundation for her timing.  It released my anxiety about labor and my fear about raising her after losing her big brother.  It then empowered me with confidence to go through this journey again.  It was an amazing mediation, and I titled my post, “To Begin Again“.

My last pregnancy I went through my due date and began labor at 41 weeks and 2 days.  But that turned out horribly; so, I didn’t want to go past 39 weeks.  I also didn’t want to have another c-section; there was so much anxiety around that the first time, so the anxiety doubled even tripled during this pregnancy.  These two ideas were released during the meditation.  The meditation told me that I had everything I needed, which I did.  Coupled with the meditation divine interaction from my sweet little angel, Lolo, eased his mama’s anxiety.  Ten days after the meditation, she spontaneously and naturally arrived 1 week and 2 days early.

Without going into my birth story, let’s just say that it was quick.  I arrived at the hospital ready to be fully admitted, WITHOUT QUESTION.  Once admitted, my husband and I worked with the cues of my body through contractions.  I had the confidence that I had everything I needed to complete this labor.  I can astonishingly say that I found my place within the contractions to where I realized that labor could actually be relaxing!  I know, yeah right, that’s what I thought too until I experienced it.  I had a natural VBAC, which is not very common anymore.  No cesarean needed.  I am so thankful.

Another divine sign – this all started with my water breaking in the early morning.  I looked at the clock and it was 3:15 am…on 3/15/2017.  But…

the biggest gift of all, 3/15/2017 happens to be my birthday.  My special gift from my son from heaven was the arrival of his sister on my birthday.  Our birthday.  The best birthday gift I have ever received.

This is an amazing birth story wrapped in the assistance of Reiki and meditation.  Thank you, Lolo, for being by my side and watching over our family from the realms you adorn.

~Thank you for reading and enjoying our story,



…to begin again.


Image borrowed from

There was something weighing heavy in my heart as I approached these last few weeks of pregnancy.  I was feeling scared, filled with butterflies from my pelvis to my heart.  This feeling radiated outward from my chest; and I knew releasing these feelings were key to a progressive and calm labor.  Moreover, I didn’t want these feelings present as I begin my new relationship with my baby girl.


And this morning I was finally ready to let go of these emotions through a Holy Fire Reiki meditation.  As a Karuna Reiki Master, I learned several meditations and mantras that support healing past experiences.  I chanted three mantras that focused on my trusting life, manifesting my goals, and healing my heart.  As I chanted these mantras with my hands on my pelvis and heart, out of no-where I heard the phrase, “begin again.”  Hearing those words immediately connected with the tightly bound ball of emotions I had.  I thought, “begin again, yes, that is what I want to do.”  I want to be ready to begin again, to begin another new life in my little family, to go through labor and delivery again.  To begin again.  And I began to cry.  As I released a load of feelings, I felt validated.  These are truths, worthy feelings that come with a pregnancy after loss.  Not everyone experiences this, but they do exist.

As that release of emotions passed through me, there was a bit more heartache remaining.  So I invited Holy Fire Reiki to come in to me.  I wanted to replace any residual anxiety with love, compassion, and confidence.  With an immediate answer, I felt the presence of warmth and love flow through me like a soothing wave.  I felt at peace.  And with my hand on my heart, I heard a voice say, “you have everything you need within you.”  Again, I cried when I heard these words.  And through these tears and gasping breaths, I released the fears that were holding me back.  Holding me back from moving forward with this new little one, this new little girl, Lolo’s baby sister.

And now, I am ready.  Ready more than I have been before, because of this Reiki meditation.  And if any lingering feelings come back around, I will fill myself with Holy Fire Reiki and trust that I have everything I need within me.

I am now ready to bring my little tiger into the world.  We cannot wait to meet her.

Thank you for reading and being open to Reiki.  It is my joy to bring peace to others using Reiki.  With love and compassionate embraces,


I was taught that God is a glorious, righteous being.  And I grew up believing that God doesn’t experience the same emotions that we humans do; like anger, fear, sadness, or jealously.  Now whether this is accurate or not, I am not sure; but it was with this belief that made me not understand why people would say to me, “God is gracious,” when they found out my son was stillborn.  I thought, he doesn’t empathize with my sadness, my broken heart, or my pain. How could this action be an act of grace?!!

But then I recently read a post that started to break down my ignorant and childhood belief, yet revealed more clarity and truth in my understanding of God.  This post was from another mother of a stillborn.  She wrote that God knows the same sadness as she does, because he unselfishly chose his Son to be born on Earth to heal and save us.

And in reading those words, John 3:16 had a new meaning to me.  I realized that God didn’t get to raise his Son, Jesus, like other parents did.  He sacrificed this closeness because he knew his Son was going to do great, unsurmountable things on Earth.  He loved Jesus from a distance; and Jesus knew his father loved him, even if they were apart.  With this sacrifice, God must have ached and felt emotions just like I do.

And that is my new Christmas perspective this year.  Christmas is now a day that I connect my husband and my sacrifice.  We believe our son, Lolo, is doing amazing and wonderful things wherever his spirit soars.  Despite that we are not all physically here on Earth, I know Lolo loves us, and that he knows his daddy and mama love him.

As you spend this Christmas however you do, please remember that Christmas is the day we celebrate Baby Jesus’ birth.  We celebrate the sacrifice God made so that we can be saved, forgiven, and healed here on Earth.  Although it may be difficult to believe this, if you look at the details, you may find little revelations in your life, too.

Merry Christmas,


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