Sharing my personal experiences as a Reiki Master to support others

Day 2

No, you haven’t missed Day 1. It was never written.

Day 2 is where I begin this adventure. An adventure to write, to proclaim, to pat myself on the back – NO…to high-five myself; and to high-five you, as well.

I want to begin this adventure in hopes of spawning a new culture, a widened view of acceptance of proclaiming our wins in life. I’m not talking about those common milestone wins; although these wins are also reasons to celebrate. I’m talking about those little wins that were baby steps in the larger game called life.

Today was Day 2 in my meditation routine that needed some modification. Let me back up a bit. I have FOREVER (seriously! since I was in high school) struggled with waking up on time. Fast forward over 20 years and three kids later, it is apparent to me that I NEED to wake up before my children even twitch at the lightest noise and begin their day. For six months, I have been trying to wake up at 5 am. Some days I do and some days I don’t. It’s easy for me to talk myself out of getting up when I don’t get a full night’s sleep – my kiddos are still learning how to sleep by themselves throughout the night. This time, however, was different. And I want to thank knowledgable and special friends of my family’s – Abby, Elmo, and the rest of the Sesame Street gang! There’s a phrase that they teach my family; “I Wonder, What If, Let’s Try”.

Day 1 was easy because my daughter woke me up at 4:45 am to tuck her back in bed. So I kept the momentum of being awake and meditated. A routine of 20 minutes of pranayama breathing and two Abraham Hicks rampages. I then enjoyed a warm drink while reviewing my planner and then even read a few pages of my cat magazine! My eyes grew tired and I thought about going back to sleep. As I momentarily reprimanded myself I realized, “at this point, I’m winning!” So, I decided to roll with the tiredness and snuggled back in bed next to my daughter. It was blissful.

Little wins. That’s what I’m talking about.

But it gets better.

Day 2

My alarm went off in mid-REM sleep cycle; I was jolted awake. I slept in another 45 minutes and awoke to the idea of all the ways I could sleep in AND meditate. But I’ve done that before, time and time again. It works, but never the same as if I meditated without my kids awake. And then I heard it, “I wonder, what if I meditated for two days in a row before my kids woke up? Let’s try it and see what my day brings.”

Damn, from not having enough waffles to share to losing a brown marker; I calmly and compassionately diffused each situation. I even had enough energy to go about some of these toddler-catastrophes with humor. Little wins.

Oh, and I also did the daily chores, paid bills, played outside, and while making lunch I quizzed my girls on their colors, shapes, and letters. Wow! For most, these are regular things that must get done. And when I became a parent with multiple kiddos, my time disappeared into disjointed conversations and tasks. I understand creating a family is the natural evolution of joining more individuals into the mix of your life. But as I traveled through the same trail day in and day out, I have learned that I wanted my path to be smoother and easier to navigate through. So I practiced over and over; tweaked my routine here and there. And the final carve in my path, wondering what my Day 2 would look like. In this I found a little win…actually lots of little wins.

And for this, I high-five my rockstar mom of a jam! I feel good, I feel great, I feel awesome. AWE-some. And this culture we live in just got a lot better because this is my proclamation today. And I invite you to join me, talk with me, high-five with me. This postpartum struggling momma with cases of depression, grief, guilt, anxiety, and RAGE knows. I don’t know it all; but I FEEL you! Don’t sustain the culture of quietness; but acknowledge the toughness in life and then high-five the little wins in your day. And tell me your story – what little win did you just have today? Maybe the relief that it is acceptable to cheerlead for yourself. Rest with that!

Come back to high-five me about Day 3.

~Namaste, Christine


Losing my son has been the most life changing event I never knew could happen. (Ignorance is bliss, isn’t it?) And with the loss comes the building, shaping, and defining of my life. People ask if things are “getting back to normal”, and what most don’t even try to understand is that “normal” is not an option . In my case, I didn’t want to go back to normal, because the normal didn’t include my son. What is more, is in that moment I realized my child died, nothing mattered anymore. Who I was, who I am-I can’t even talk about who I was in the past because I can’t even relate to that person anymore.

And with that, I have to analyze, feel out everything as if it’s new to me. Pre-friends, pre-family pre-enjoyments, pre-everything; as if I was experiencing them for the first time. Because I am experiencing it for the first time…as Lolo’s mom, a woman whose child is somewhere else but in her arms. I am trying to find what fits and what doesn’t.

And I know that may sound sad and depressing… it should because it is. But it’s also the most empowering thing I’ve ever learned from. I’m more proud and I have more conviction in who I am. I’m also much more compassionate and empathetic. I know others may see the “new” me as different; and they don’t like it because I may not act the way I used to; and they don’t like the change. I could be sarcastically defensive and agree that their trying to get used to this new me is hard for them. (As if what I’m going through isn’t tough?!) But I’ve realized that is not the issue. I’m in a different place from where I used to be…I’ve outgrown things from my past, and they’re not of use to me anymore. And acknowledging and accepting that is freeing. I am grateful and free.



…finding empathy.

My particular client recently gave birth to her stillborn, and is only a few months raw. I say this term because it is. It’s raw and unreal. I prepare myself for her session by looking back at where I was during a few months after my son was born still. And there are certain milestones and triggers that are now part of my life.

I remember I forced myself to find a full-time job to help pay for my hospital bills (you know…the one where I was charged for hospital services even though this was not your normal labor and delivery. And don’t get me wrong, I am thankful and appreciate all the support from the medical staff, but at least some financial scholarship would have helped during such a terrible time.) Thanks for reading that rant…now back to my reflection.

My body was finally done bleeding and internally healing from pregnancy and C-section. I was determined to heal properly, so I had physical therapy appointments to retrain my body; to sit upright, to walk, to run, to go to the bathroom, and to lift things. I had to force my self to go for walks and practice using my abdominal muscles again. And through all this, I also cried myself in my car on my lunch break, locked myself in public bathrooms to sob, prayed to Lolo, gave myself daily Reiki, and visited my son’s burial site almost every day.

How does someone do that?…Honestly, we’re forced to. The days move forward without asking if you want to participate. There’s no way for you to pause or rewind your life back to the time your baby was living. And that’s how you do it.

So, as I plan for my upcoming client, I find empathy for what she may be going through. I send distant Reiki to our time we will spend together. And I create an open and loving space to just be. To feel the sadness, the loss, her breath and intend to fill her heart with peace, hope, and for just one moment be still with her heart.


…4 years out.

4 years ago my life changed; from good to bad to worse to okay. For those of you who have been following my blog, thank you. It has evolved from Reiki guidance to unraveling my deepest sadness while using Reiki as a tool to help me process and grieve the loss of my first born, my son, Lolo. The sadness that comes with losing a baby, the word doesn’t begin to describe it. No one knows how you feel, not even another loss parent because each journey is its own. Yes, there are similarities, but there are differences. And now I’m 4 years from the moment I laid my eyes on him. From the moment I held him, felt him move inside me, saw his warm face. But marking this calendar moment at 4 years does not mean anything. I still can recall the exact events in full detail, just like it was yesterday. The pain is not as heart-wrenching for long periods of time; it just comes and goes now. But that’s because we’ve added two more little sisters to our family; we made Lolo a big brother. And we’re learning to intertwine our lives with the loss of Lolo, because he is around spiritually, guiding us, playing with us, loving us from abound. We’re teaching our girls that although we can’t see him, he is there.

And that is what Reiki has also taught me. That even though we can’t see the energy, the love is there waiting for us when we are ready.

~Lolo’s mom

… with a reason.

I offer you Reiki not because it healed me of my grief. Oh my life is quite the contrary. My grief is still present, as with any mother or parent whose child died.

I offer it because of the hope it brought me.

And to bring to you the chance where sadness is lighter, “why” questions lessen, control releases, and a more positive relationship begins.

A clearer relationship with who you are now, who your inner self is, and quite possibly with your loved ones.


…uncovering the love.

Uncover the Love

I’m a mom with a newborn again.  With that role comes adjusting my schedule and getting used to; lukewarm dinners, shorter convos with my husband, watching movies during several day increments, and my least favorite, sipping my once-hot-coffee turned cold.

But as a Reiki Master, there’s one thing I have maintained…taking time for myself, for selfcare via self-Reiki.  There’s no question about how much I love my husband and our newest baby; but, some days I become agitated more easily than others.  And that’s when I know I need Reiki.

Today was just this.  So my husband offered to watch baby while I gave myself a Reiki session.  During that time, I focused on several areas of my body.  First, I utilized a few Reiki symbols and mantras to ground and center myself.  Then I felt energy was needed in my heart, spleen, lungs, and throat.  After 45 minutes of Reiki, I was feeling wonderful, but there still lingered some stagnant energy.  I couldn’t shake it.  So with my palms faced up, I visualized myself opening up as a channel to receive more Reiki.  Like from a beam of powerful energy, I felt paralyzed and didn’t want to move.  I wanted to remain still so that I could absorb all that was given.  Then with a sudden shift of energy, I felt cleansed and that my Reiki session was complete.  I slowly opened my eyes to take in the world around me.  I was peaceful and content.  As my eyes focused, I saw my husband with baby coming towards me.  It was perfect timing; the end of my session arrived exactly at the moment she no longer had the patience to be without me.

And for the rest of the day when she was cranky, I was more at peace. The Reiki session lifted away stress from the day and uncovered the love I knew was there.  I found my patience.  I found my compassion.  I found my love even in the midst of baby’s fussy tiredness.

Use Reiki to lift away stress and find the peace and love that exists within you.


…with a holiday wish.

Christmas miracle

Maybe I’ve been watching too many Hallmark Christmas movies.  You know the ones, someone doesn’t believe in the magic of Christmas because a multitude of reasons.  Maybe they lost their childhood innocence, maybe they had many Christmases spoiled, maybe they don’t feel like they deserve it, or maybe they think the magic Christmas provides isn’t capable of giving them what they dream.  The latter is me, thinking that the miracle of Christmas isn’t strong enough to make my dream come true…I feel it’s out of reach.

But in those movies, nothing is out of reach.  There are friends, family members, strangers, angels, guides, and spirits helping someone believe.  At the end of the movie, the miracle comes true- nothing is too large.

So what would my holiday wish be…if I made one?  I thought about it.  And usually my wishes are selfless, right down to my birthday wishes.  I use my birthday wishes, my entire day actually, offering Reiki to others.  That is my gift to me, I would give a Reiki session for free to someone on my birthday.  That is how much I love Reiki; and I receive so much from it by giving a session to others.  But a Christmas wish…the possibility of a miracle, if it were truly possible, I would have to be selfish.  And selfish is a struggle deep down to my core because I am unsure it would even work; so, I’d rather wish for something else.

But my holiday wish, my miracle would be to spend one whole day with my baby again.  No, not the one I hold in my arms on a daily basis.  (Although, I embrace her daily knowing that moment could be the last.)  No, my first one; the one that was lost to me many years ago.  The one I never get to hold, to see, to feel, to love, to grow.  That one.  My Little One, my Lolo.  I wish I could talk, I wish I could feel, I wish I could hold for matters more, over and over, my cup never runneth over.

That would be my wish for a Christmas holiday miracle.  Merry Christmas.


XOXO – dedicated to all those mothers and fathers out there this Christmas season wishing for a miracle, too.  I sure hope some sort of miracle comes to you.

…with a divine gift.

Divine GiftsThe last time I wrote, I had just completed a much needed meditation that helped me get to a ready-place before my daughter was born.  There were a number of divine actions that happened during her birth, and I feel that meditating with Reiki was the foundation for her timing.  It released my anxiety about labor and my fear about raising her after losing her big brother.  It then empowered me with confidence to go through this journey again.  It was an amazing mediation, and I titled my post, “To Begin Again“.

My last pregnancy I went through my due date and began labor at 41 weeks and 2 days.  But that turned out horribly; so, I didn’t want to go past 39 weeks.  I also didn’t want to have another c-section; there was so much anxiety around that the first time, so the anxiety doubled even tripled during this pregnancy.  These two ideas were released during the meditation.  The meditation told me that I had everything I needed, which I did.  Coupled with the meditation divine interaction from my sweet little angel, Lolo, eased his mama’s anxiety.  Ten days after the meditation, she spontaneously and naturally arrived 1 week and 2 days early.

Without going into my birth story, let’s just say that it was quick.  I arrived at the hospital ready to be fully admitted, WITHOUT QUESTION.  Once admitted, my husband and I worked with the cues of my body through contractions.  I had the confidence that I had everything I needed to complete this labor.  I can astonishingly say that I found my place within the contractions to where I realized that labor could actually be relaxing!  I know, yeah right, that’s what I thought too until I experienced it.  I had a natural VBAC, which is not very common anymore.  No cesarean needed.  I am so thankful.

Another divine sign – this all started with my water breaking in the early morning.  I looked at the clock and it was 3:15 am…on 3/15/2017.  But…

the biggest gift of all, 3/15/2017 happens to be my birthday.  My special gift from my son from heaven was the arrival of his sister on my birthday.  Our birthday.  The best birthday gift I have ever received.

This is an amazing birth story wrapped in the assistance of Reiki and meditation.  Thank you, Lolo, for being by my side and watching over our family from the realms you adorn.

~Thank you for reading and enjoying our story,



…to begin again.


Image borrowed from

There was something weighing heavy in my heart as I approached these last few weeks of pregnancy.  I was feeling scared, filled with butterflies from my pelvis to my heart.  This feeling radiated outward from my chest; and I knew releasing these feelings were key to a progressive and calm labor.  Moreover, I didn’t want these feelings present as I begin my new relationship with my baby girl.


And this morning I was finally ready to let go of these emotions through a Holy Fire Reiki meditation.  As a Karuna Reiki Master, I learned several meditations and mantras that support healing past experiences.  I chanted three mantras that focused on my trusting life, manifesting my goals, and healing my heart.  As I chanted these mantras with my hands on my pelvis and heart, out of no-where I heard the phrase, “begin again.”  Hearing those words immediately connected with the tightly bound ball of emotions I had.  I thought, “begin again, yes, that is what I want to do.”  I want to be ready to begin again, to begin another new life in my little family, to go through labor and delivery again.  To begin again.  And I began to cry.  As I released a load of feelings, I felt validated.  These are truths, worthy feelings that come with a pregnancy after loss.  Not everyone experiences this, but they do exist.

As that release of emotions passed through me, there was a bit more heartache remaining.  So I invited Holy Fire Reiki to come in to me.  I wanted to replace any residual anxiety with love, compassion, and confidence.  With an immediate answer, I felt the presence of warmth and love flow through me like a soothing wave.  I felt at peace.  And with my hand on my heart, I heard a voice say, “you have everything you need within you.”  Again, I cried when I heard these words.  And through these tears and gasping breaths, I released the fears that were holding me back.  Holding me back from moving forward with this new little one, this new little girl, Lolo’s baby sister.

And now, I am ready.  Ready more than I have been before, because of this Reiki meditation.  And if any lingering feelings come back around, I will fill myself with Holy Fire Reiki and trust that I have everything I need within me.

I am now ready to bring my little tiger into the world.  We cannot wait to meet her.

Thank you for reading and being open to Reiki.  It is my joy to bring peace to others using Reiki.  With love and compassionate embraces,


I was taught that God is a glorious, righteous being.  And I grew up believing that God doesn’t experience the same emotions that we humans do; like anger, fear, sadness, or jealously.  Now whether this is accurate or not, I am not sure; but it was with this belief that made me not understand why people would say to me, “God is gracious,” when they found out my son was stillborn.  I thought, he doesn’t empathize with my sadness, my broken heart, or my pain. How could this action be an act of grace?!!

But then I recently read a post that started to break down my ignorant and childhood belief, yet revealed more clarity and truth in my understanding of God.  This post was from another mother of a stillborn.  She wrote that God knows the same sadness as she does, because he unselfishly chose his Son to be born on Earth to heal and save us.

And in reading those words, John 3:16 had a new meaning to me.  I realized that God didn’t get to raise his Son, Jesus, like other parents did.  He sacrificed this closeness because he knew his Son was going to do great, unsurmountable things on Earth.  He loved Jesus from a distance; and Jesus knew his father loved him, even if they were apart.  With this sacrifice, God must have ached and felt emotions just like I do.

And that is my new Christmas perspective this year.  Christmas is now a day that I connect my husband and my sacrifice.  We believe our son, Lolo, is doing amazing and wonderful things wherever his spirit soars.  Despite that we are not all physically here on Earth, I know Lolo loves us, and that he knows his daddy and mama love him.

As you spend this Christmas however you do, please remember that Christmas is the day we celebrate Baby Jesus’ birth.  We celebrate the sacrifice God made so that we can be saved, forgiven, and healed here on Earth.  Although it may be difficult to believe this, if you look at the details, you may find little revelations in your life, too.

Merry Christmas,


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