Maybe I’ve been watching too many Hallmark Christmas movies. You know the ones, someone doesn’t believe in the magic of Christmas because a multitude of reasons. Maybe they lost their childhood innocence, maybe they had many Christmases spoiled, maybe they don’t feel like they deserve it, or maybe they think the magic Christmas provides isn’t capable of giving them what they dream. The latter is me, thinking that the miracle of Christmas isn’t strong enough to make my dream come true…I feel it’s out of reach.
But in those movies, nothing is out of reach. There are friends, family members, strangers, angels, guides, and spirits helping someone believe. At the end of the movie, the miracle comes true- nothing is too large.
So what would my holiday wish be…if I made one? I thought about it. And usually my wishes are selfless, right down to my birthday wishes. I use my birthday wishes, my entire day actually, offering Reiki to others. That is my gift to me, I would give a Reiki session for free to someone on my birthday. That is how much I love Reiki; and I receive so much from it by giving a session to others. But a Christmas wish…the possibility of a miracle, if it were truly possible, I would have to be selfish. And selfish is a struggle deep down to my core because I am unsure it would even work; so, I’d rather wish for something else.
But my holiday wish, my miracle would be to spend one whole day with my baby again. No, not the one I hold in my arms on a daily basis. (Although, I embrace her daily knowing that moment could be the last.) No, my first one; the one that was lost to me many years ago. The one I never get to hold, to see, to feel, to love, to grow. That one. My Little One, my Lolo. I wish I could talk, I wish I could feel, I wish I could hold for matters more, over and over, my cup never runneth over.
That would be my wish for a Christmas holiday miracle. Merry Christmas.
XOXO – dedicated to all those mothers and fathers out there this Christmas season wishing for a miracle, too. I sure hope some sort of miracle comes to you.