4 years ago my life changed; from good to bad to worse to okay. For those of you who have been following my blog, thank you. It has evolved from Reiki guidance to unraveling my deepest sadness while using Reiki as a tool to help me process and grieve the loss of my first born, my son, Lolo. The sadness that comes with losing a baby, the word doesn’t begin to describe it. No one knows how you feel, not even another loss parent because each journey is its own. Yes, there are similarities, but there are differences. And now I’m 4 years from the moment I laid my eyes on him. From the moment I held him, felt him move inside me, saw his warm face. But marking this calendar moment at 4 years does not mean anything. I still can recall the exact events in full detail, just like it was yesterday. The pain is not as heart-wrenching for long periods of time; it just comes and goes now. But that’s because we’ve added two more little sisters to our family; we made Lolo a big brother. And we’re learning to intertwine our lives with the loss of Lolo, because he is around spiritually, guiding us, playing with us, loving us from abound. We’re teaching our girls that although we can’t see him, he is there.
And that is what Reiki has also taught me. That even though we can’t see the energy, the love is there waiting for us when we are ready.